Why I Remain a Mormon

I was born and raised a Roman Catholic. It is safe to say that, by high school, I was disillusioned with all religions and leaning towards a scientific explanation of the creation and life in general. I went into the Air Force at age 17. Right after boot camp, I had a near-death experience when my larynx was crushed in a pick-up game of football.

I then learned that God was real and so was the afterlife.

Shortly thereafter, I began studying the various -isms and religions. I learned about prayer and meditation. One night, I was praying and I heard a voice ask me, "Paul, what is it you seek?". I responded, "I don't really know". The voice then asked me, "Have you considered Jesus?"

Realizing that I had not considered Jesus, I began to read the Bible, focusing on the New Testament. I had read the Bible cover to cover for the first time when I was in 3rd grade, and was familiar with the life of Jesus Christ. This time, however, it felt as if He was speaking directly to me. Words jumped out off the page and I learned that God was in fact just and merciful.

I also learned that man existed with God before he came to this earth. This earth is a test, and we will be judged based on our understanding as well as our actions. I also learned that Heaven and hell had various degrees. Man would be rewarded, or punished, as an individual. He would also receive a very "individualized reward".

Most importantly, I learned about the true nature of Christ's suffering and His Atonement for our sins. With this understanding, I approached God in prayer and proclaimed my belief in Jesus Christ. I then told Him that I would devote my life to learning, teaching and defending His truths if He could find it in His mercy to forgive me of my sins.

I then felt a warm, but comforting, burning that spread throughout my body and a peaceful understanding that I had, in fact, had my sins forgiven.

I was shortly thereafter introduced to the Mormon Church. Having never studied the religion, I agreed to meet with their missionaries at the home of a friend. I was amazed at the Church's teachings and had it witnessed to me, again through prayer, that they were correct. I agreed to be baptized.

When I completed my 4 years of military service, I went on a full-time mission for the Mormon Church in Uruguay. Again, I felt the Holy Ghost repeatedly witness the truth of the Church's teachings as I taught them to others. I saw the Gospel, which is what we call the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, touch the lives of many and make "bad men good and good men better".

I arrived home and was shortly thereafter married to my wife for "Time and all Eternity" in the Washington DC Temple. Again, I received a spiritual witness to the validity of the ceremony. I have received my Temple Endowment, performed baptisms on behalf of my dead ancestors, and served in various leadership positions in my local congregations.

Nothing has changed when it comes to my belief in the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith and the other doctrines of the Church.

Now some might find this confusing.

How is it that a man so committed to a religion write so many articles about corruption in his church?

I write these articles because I was told to do it. I was told that evil men had gained too much power in the Church and the Lord wanted them exposed. This came to me repeatedly, in-spite of my resistance to the concept, which was revolting to me personally.

This assignment came to me after suffering numerous abuses, including attempts on my life, at the hands of some of the so-called leaders of the Mormon Church. This occurred while I was in Utah. You can learn more about my story here.

As I prayed to find meaning in my sufferings, I was told that many, many others had suffered before me from the hands of these "wolves in sheeps clothing". I saw, in vision, the numerous cries of the widows and the fatherless, that were victimized for greed and love of power.

I was told that the Lord had sent me as His instrument, to bring down judgments on their head, that the cries of their victims might cease. I was told that the life of "My Servant, is in My hands". That they would have power to slander and otherwise injure (Marr) me, but that my life would be preserved by the hand of God Himself. I was told that my battles are His battles and that He first permits His enemies to be humiliated before He destroys them.

I am amazed at how much information He has delivered into my hands, along with the words that are given to me when I write the various articles exposing evil doers in the Mormon Church. Oftentimes, I don't know what I am writing about until I sit at my keyboard. Ideas present themselves, facts that support them are easily found, and articles are written.